Empty nest

Today was a fantastic day, in terms of my regular, ol' vanilla life. I got a lot of work done, I moved a couple of projects forward, I got a lot of satisfaction out of what I was doing. I had a meeting at the end of the day with two male colleagues who joked around with me about my tendency to be "bossy." (Both of them were quick to point out that my being "bossy" is one of the best things about me.) It feels really good to own that, and feel absolutely no need to apologize.

The only thing missing is the lack of a boy when I walk through the door. I need to be greeted by a boy on his knees, wearing an outfit I've asked him to wear, with a glass of bordeaux in his hand for me and a shy, hopeful smile on his face. I need a grateful mouth kissing my boots. I need a little househusband who makes my dinner. I've had this before and it was wonderful -- I'm looking forward to having it again. But that's a massive privilege to bestow that upon someone, and I will keep my solitude until I find someone worthy of that.

Tomorrow night is the Domme Women's group I'm attending, and I'm looking forward to seeing whether anyone interesting turns up. I'm learning that patience and poise is an essential right now -- people reveal to you who they are through their behavior, not their words, so you must have the patience to wait and see. That's the way for most things, but even more so when dealing with submissive men.